The second best time I ever had in a cemetery, I spent with Jane White, Jessica Ward and Tom Burford in the Old City Cemetery. I had come to Lynchburg to learn more about Food to Die For, a cookbook filled with funeral lore, etiquette and history about the old cemetery and how it came to be living testament to the willful ways of five women determined to honor their dead, clean up the place and create an organization that would perpetuate the Old City Cemetery, the nucleus of a group known as The Southern Memorial Association.

All of us have been at a loss from time to time as to what to say or do when confronted with the death of a friend, relative or acquaintance. I always head for the kitchen where I find solace preparing food for the bereaved and expressing sentiments not readily spoken.

Jessica Bemis Ward follows a similar direction. She married into a large, aging and well know Lynchburg family over 40 years ago and is an experienced funeral goer. Jessica applies her sense of good taste to the delicate task of burying the dead and now shares sage advice with good humor. She compiled over 100 recipes she calls funeral food and created a unique and much needed guide for the bereaved. From my search, I found no other cookbook that deals with the practicum or mourning—filling this not so obvious void is Food to Die For.

I asked Jessica where the idea came from. “The phrase came to me during a funeral and I thought it would be the perfect title for a cookbook to raise funds for SMA.”

Where did the recipes come from? “Many are my own tried-and true recipes; others were contributed by friends who have both experienced the comforting generosity of friends and prepared food themselves for such occasions, still others are keepers of those recipes traditional to the area and the times—like pimento cheese and corn pudding and country ham. Funeral food recipes are not easy to come by, not because good cooks withhold them but they are usually recipes, reserved for such occasions, which cooks know by heart, without need for measure or written instruction. Funeral food must be familiar, delicious and portable, foods that escape the bonds of ‘piping hot’ as well as dishes that can be stored and served again with safety and ease.”

Jane White’s Corn Pudding fits the criteria: prepared in one dish suitable for transporting, made easily in any season of the year with fresh, canned or frozen corn and includes only ingredients that are normally in her kitchen.

Jane White is the director of Old City Cemetery; she is a gardener and planner with long and wise vision not just for the cemetery. The philosophy she lives by, she calls “in dying order” (I call “drop dead ready”), meaning that she is ready to go—all things are in order, all of the time. It is an enviable position—my silver isn’t polished, but my dresser drawers are straight. Under her astute management, Old city Cemetery has four museums, beautiful gardens and ongoing plans for its beautification and growth. You will want to ask about the beehives and the goats located on the premises when you visit.

Jessica has included other useful information about funeral etiquette, expressions of condolence, writing an obituary and lingering expressions of condolence over an extended period of time as well as helpful handy tips. Recipes are prefaced with helpful, sometimes humorous remarks about the contributor, the origin or ingredients. Wonderful old photos punctuate the book embracing its history, personality, functions, occupants, visitors and events through the years. Food to Die For is helpful and handy, historically enriching and traditionally rewarding.

	Rowena Morrel, center, with husband Ron Wade and Cemetery Director Jane White at the Food to Die For book signing and reception, September 19, 2004

Despite amazing advances in medical science and technology, the mortality rate for human beings stands at a whopping 100%. It's a fact: all of us are going to die some day. Yet, in the face of this statistical reality, death still manages to come as a shock, leaving rattled relatives, friends, and coworkers wondering what to say and do in response.

At such awkward moments, it would be nice to have a handbook, a "Funerals 101" that people could count on for advice and direction. And now there is.

Jessica Bemis Ward, with expert assistance from area cooks and the staff at Lynchburg's Old City Cemetery, has compiled a witty empathetic, and practical funeral-goers guide.

As the title implies, Food to Die For: A Book of Funeral Food, Tips and Tales is replete with recipes for tried and true comfort foods. But this is much more than a cookbook. Ward thoughtfully walks readers through the intricacies of "non-edible support," including step-by-step suggestions for writing meaningful obituaries, condolence notes, and post-funeral thank you's.

Ward really shines when addressing social anxieties of the uninitiated and provides a wealth of tips old hands can use to further refine their mourning mastery.

Evocative black and white photographs of the Old City Cemetery are used to delineate chapters. And, as an added bonus, the conclusion provides a fascinating look at Victorian and African-American funeral customs practiced during the Cemetery's 19th Century heyday. Artifacts from this era—clothing, jewelry, medals, gravemarkers, photos, flowers, and hearses—are now on display at the Cemetery Center and its surrounding museums. (Concomitant recipes for 19th Century comfort foods like Funeral Pie will have to be prepared and sampled at home.)

Though Ward's humorous handbook strives to be comprehensive, it is not quite complete. Only when every copy is thoroughly dog eared and badly stained with tears, lemon juice, egg yolks, and ketchup will her work truly be done.

Food to Die For is a book about how, in the face of impossible odds, we help each other carry on.